Sunday, February 28, 2010

Jay-Z's Blueprint... of Evil!

Evil, thy name is Hova.

In a series of web videos, or rather, in one very long video broken into at least 11 parts, called the "Jay-Z Deception", youtube user "theforerunner777" has finally revealed the many hidden connections between Jay-Z (aka "Hova"), the Freemasons, the Beatles, and of course, Satan.

According to "forerunner", Jay-Z has long been part of the Freemason conspiracy to bring about the rule of Satan on earth. The proof, he says, is everywhere. For example, Jay-Z has released a trilogy of albums referred to as "The Blueprint." Hmmm...Who uses blueprints to build things? Masons! And who designs blueprints? Architects. And who is the architect with designs for an evil empire that will envelope all the world? Who could that be? Could it be... Satan?!!!

One could only come to one conclusion after making all those observations: Jay-Z is obviously a Satan-worshipping tool of the devil.

The whole series is filled with revelations like that. Other artists are implicated as well, from the Beatles("Aleister Crowley IS Sgt.Pepper!") to Kanye West (who really represents, as the video reveals, Osiris, the Egyptian lord of the underworld).

Even Ed Hardy clothing is apparently part of the conspiracy. The masons, according to the video, are fond of the "skull and bones" symbol, as is Satan. And what do these clothes have on them? Skulls and bones. The math is simple: Skulls = Satan. Ed Hardy = Skulls. Therefore, Ed Hardy = Satan.

Much of the video centers around the "Luciferian" messages in the music video for the Jay-Z song "Run this Town." As forerunner explains, the true meaning of the song is that Jay-Z believes "Lucifer is going to run the cities [or towns] of the Earth for eternity!"

Perhaps the lone flaw of this very scholarly video is that it fails to explain the full scope of the satanic conspiracy within the realm of the music world. Is Gucci Mane involved? What about Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas? I've long suspected she was sent by Satan himself to torment the world, and that "Fergalicious" plays on a continuous loop in Hell.

Unfortunately, we will have to wait for more revelations from "theforerunner777." Or perhaps we can try to listen for the evil messages on the radio ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha has a deeper, more sinister meaning.

Or maybe not.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Journey to the center of earth: The greatest expedition of ALL TIME

Once in a great while, a team of noble explorers venture on a journey that changes the course of human history. This year, a group of brave souls was planning on such a voyage. Perhaps inspired by the 2008 documentary revealing the wonders that dwell at the center of the earth, a group of 35 people had been raising money for what they called the North Pole Inner Earth Expedition, or NPIEE. At their website, the organizers detail their belief that the earth is hollow, and possibly houses some sort of inner earth civilization. They also outline a plan to journey to the north pole and enter the interior of the earth through an entrance buried in ice.

Those who were organizing the mission were not alone in their belief in a hollow earth. The idea goes back pretty far, and has its share of adherents. In fact, a previous expedition had also been planned, until the head of the expedition mysteriously died. His death led to speculation that he had come too close to the truth and was subsequently silenced.

Despite past attempts to stop other hollow earthers, the men and women of the NPIEE were undeterred. Their crew boasted a wide variety of fields of expertise, including, but not limited to:

" * Global Warming in the Arctic Circle
* Undersea film making
* Ocean chemical and physical properties
* Marine Biology
* Astronomy
* Computer Technologies
* Planetary Core Geology
* Ancient history
* Meditation training
* Musical compositions
* Cetation communications and biology
* Earth curvature measurement
* Magnetometry and Earth Magnetism analysis
* Borealis photography and spectrometry
* Arctic exploration "

The site notes that the head of the expedition is also a black belt, which would come in handy if the subterranean life forms they encounter happen to know karate.

Like the previous expedition, the NPIEE website asked for donations. However, the site says that all donations were required by January 2010, and that they needed to raise a sum of 6.4 million dollars by then. It is now February. The site shows no updates since then. Its as if they just disappeared after collecting their donations.

What happened? Did the scientific community get to them?
Were they kidnapped by the inner earth people? Do the inner earth people know karate?

Alas, until the website is updated, we may never know.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Stanley Kubrick: Great Director, or the man who faked the Moon landing?

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Jay Weidner has finally gotten to the bottom of this moon landing business, and it turns out the evidence was right under everyone's nose. On the site Conspiracy Planet, and on his own website, Weidner unveils the culprit behind the supposed "Moon Landing:" the late film director Stanley Kubrick.

While lay people know Kubrick simply as the guy who directed such films as "The Shining" and "2001: A Space Odyssey," Weidner unveils the extraordinary number of "coincidences" that prove that Kubrick was behind the moon landing hoax. For instance, Stanley Kubrick directed a movie about space in 1968. And just the following year Nasa claims to have landed on the moon. And where is the moon located, you ask? In space!

The proof, Weidner states, is everywhere. Most notably in the movie itself. In the following quote, Weidner humbly explains his discoveries regarding the "black monolith" that appears in the film: "For the first time anywhere... I show how Kubrick designed the black monolith to be exactly the same size as the screen on which 2001 was projected. The monolith and the screen are the same thing. The monolith is the screen and the screen is the monolith. It is truly one of the greatest discoveries in cinema history," said the incredibly modest Weidner.

"When one realizes that Kubrick also used the Front Screen Projection system - not only for the ape scenes in 2001 - but also the fake the moon landings - we can see a double, or even possibly a triple meaning, inside the idea that the screen is the monolith and the monolith is the screen," said Weidner.

Um...ok. I get it. So the monolith IS the screen, man. But what does that prove, exactly?

Again, Weiner points to symbolism that only he is wise enough to see as proof that Kubrick faked the moon landing: "If the monolith is that device that enlightens humanity then the Front Screen Projection system, and it's unmistakable fingerprints, is the device that enlightens humanity as to how the Apollo landings were faked," said Weidner, referring to a film technique Kubrick used that was "unmistakably" used to fake the moon landing.

Weidner goes on to outline further evidence, like Kubrick's level of artistic control and large budget while making "2001", which obviously points to the fact that the film was funded by the U.S. government. Even the sub-par nature of "Eyes Wide Shut", Kubrick's last film, is explained. The film was bad because the government cut out all the parts explaining the truth behind the moon landing. Of course!

In light of his uncovering of the Kubrick conspiracy, Weidner truly is a genius. Unfortunatley, like the hidden messages in 2001: A space Odyssey, only he can really see it.

Friday, February 5, 2010

It's the Illuminati, stupid: The Tiger Woods scandal explained at last

Like all great exposes, Paul Drockton's blog post on the Tiger Woods scandal begins with a question.

Conspiracy theorist Paul A. Drockton, in his post on Conspiracy Planet , begins his musings on the Woods scandal like many sports writers: "As we read the sordid details of Tiger Woods personal life, the question raises its ugly head: How could a man with so much going for him outwardly be such a mess inwardly?"

It's a question that's been on the minds of many people of late, and many sports writers have begun their columns asking the very same sort of question. Sadly, most "professional" journalists with "qualifications",are not nearly as wise as Drockton, who helpfully explains the Woods scandal once and for all.

"Marital fidelity and family life mean nothing to the Illuminati Satanists that are actively manipulating our world." So true. Drockton goes on to outline the "real" cause of the Woods scandal, which is apparently far more complex than it appears.

Woods, according to Drockton, was mentally programmed from an early age by a satanic U.S. Military program called "MKULTRA" in order to become an amoral golfing machine. That's right: The Pentagon, as part of a plot to take over the world (or something), used mind control to turn a small child into a professional golfer. Those fiends!

Why our satanic overlords would devote their evil resources to teach children to play golf of all things isn't fully explained by Drockton. It appears their motives are too diabolically sinister for even Paul A. Drockton to fully comprehend.

Thankfully, Drockton is able to explain how Woods was brought into the mind control program by the late, beloved Comedian Bob Hope, whom Drockton describes as "a notorious MKULTRA programmer and pedophile CIA sexslave handler." Curiously, that part of Hope's resume is left off his Wikipedia page, which must mean Wikipedia is also owned by Satanists (I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere).

Perhaps Drockton's most stunning revelation is that other pro-golfers know Woods is part of an evil conspiracy.

Drockton quotes someone named J.Lee as saying: "Woods is HATED by other golfers, who know he's a manufactured product of Pentagon MKULTRA mind control. I was told this by a pro golfer while we were at an aircraft factory in Oregon hand-building our own personal jet aircraft." And of course, if J.Lee says it, it must be true.

Mysteriously, although they know Tiger Woods is part of some diabolical plot, these pro golfers who apparently build jets with their bare hands have never bothered to mention this to ESPN . I guess they save the really juicy gossip for J.Lee (who may or may not be Jason Lee).

At the end of Drockton's marvelously insightful post which manages to link professional golf, The Jon Benet Ramsey Scandal, Witchcraft and "Illuminati late night comedians," one can't help but be grateful for web 2.0.

Thanks to the miracle of blogging, people like Mr.Drockton (whose rants would likely be rejected by an actual newspaper) can finally reach the public with their incredible insights on websites like Conspiracy Planet.

At last, there is a forum for those fighting against lecherous golfers and evil, Satan worshiping late night comedians. You hear that, Jay Leno?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

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